16th April

Not having any information was driving me up the wall, so on the Internet again (7am in the morning) and I found the number of a cancer support nurse at the hospital. I called her as soon as possible and explained what had happened the previous day and that we felt in limbo as we were not informed about the results of the tests nor any other details other than to wait for a phone call. She was brilliant, explained what the process was in terms of the meeting and that she would personally call after this meeting to talk us through the next stage.

We told the eldest that his dad wasn't feeling brilliant so he was having a day off work. We had to go and fetch his van and tools from the site where he was working at yesterday and then came back home.

During school holidays, I am not used to having hubby at home, it is usually just me and the boys doing our own things so I was on edge - do I entertain him, make him do housework, what should we do? As I had to miss a dentist appointment the day before I dragged them all out of the house to go and make another appointment. It would have been easier just to call but I felt that we needed to do something, do something as a family rather than just sit in the house even if that meant going all the way to the dentist, paying for parking (again!) and all of us trouping into the surgery.

Hubby is not one for having time off work, as long as I have known him, he has worked every day, usually doing overtime and Saturdays. In fact, when he doesn't go in on a Saturday I get aggravated with him as it changes the routine I have - cleaning, shopping, shouting at the kids for bickering.

He was sitting there doing the crossword and said that he was noticing symptoms. This is something that he mentioned the day before whilst we were sat in that room - until they mentioned the C word he felt fine, but now he was noticing things - his nuts ached, he felt a bit sickly etc.

We both decided that it was the sitting around that was not helping and he needed to do something. He had already told his boss that he would nip in, so after he had some lunch (leaving all his mess for the magic dish washing fairy to clear up) he went into work.

When he got home that evening, we were in the kitchen (with the door closed) and hubby explained that the worst part of the day was having to tell people at work what was going on. As I have previously said, hubby never has time off so his sudden disappearing act yesterday had not gone unnoticed. But he did admit that being at work was helpful and that he was going in as normal the next day.

I was worried that the eldest was going to find out more details than we had told him (the C word) over the weekend - he has this little habit of eves dropping on every one's conversations whilst having selective hearing when it comes to being told to tidy his room. So whilst the youngest was in the bath, we sat him down and explained everything. We told him that it is very beatable and we would be honest with him - but it didn't give him the excuse to play up at school and get away with it (another long story). He took it very well no emotion showed and he seemed more interested in what was on telly - not sure if this is going to bite is on the backside later, will just have to take it as it comes.